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Many people say that accountants have no sense of humor.. Well I beg to differ! Here are a few of my favorite accounting jokes, enjoy! A lady goes to the doctor and the doctor breaks the news to her that she only has 3 months to live. He had a ton of paper work to do. So he decided to work it out with a pencil. Your email address will not be published.

25 Accounting Pick Up Lines

While we wait for www. Get ready for those accountants to start lining up! The accountant will be dazzled by your maths skills.

Problem is, I’m the art school type so I have limited knowledge on accounting. Anyone wanna lay down some great jokes\pick up lines on the subject?

Your question may be answered by sellers, manufacturers, or customers who purchased this item, who are all part of the Amazon community. Please make sure that you’ve entered a valid question. You can edit your question or post anyway. Please enter a question. It’s the perfect anytime gift. Something that can be given on any day of the week and for no reason at all.

It doesn’t matter what it’s for, this is a funny gag gift you can celebrate for any season for your special accountant. Absolutely love your order or contact us and we’ll make it right. Also, while the mug works great as a standalone gift, another option is to dress it up even more by placing additional gifts inside, such as stickers, magnets, candies and chocolates, coffee grounds or tea bags, or stationary items, like colorful pencils, pens, and sticky notes-basically anything you want to make this coffee mug extra special for your special accountant.

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Funniest Accounting and CPA Jokes – [Seriously, Try Not to Laugh]

I have not even got my CPA and i’m already married! Hey, I’m a CPA. How would you like to discuss your taxes on dinner in this new Italian place. Saturday night? Wife says: Sex toys were always above the line.

Jul 26, – Explore Kylie Loebert’s board “Accounting memes” on Pinterest. See more ideas about Accounting humor, Accounting, Accounting jokes.

I am 3 weeks away from being halfway done with grad school can I get a Woot Woot!?!? And as any grad student living in a quasi-college town needs to do, I recently joined the tinder, bumble, and jswipe communities. As a result, I considered making a dating app designed specifically for my needs as a graduate accounting student majoring in financial transaction services. And here they are —. If you want to build that dating app just give me a holler.

Reblogged this on The Watchpost and commented: A hysterical collection of accountant-themed pickup lines by my good friend J. That post has 1, views!!! You are commenting using your WordPress.


If you are going to be an accountant then you have to be able to laugh at yourself. I put together this post to bring together any funny and entertaining accounting and tax videos, puns, jokes, pictures, etc. If get you a laugh from this post I hope you will share it with others. Sharing a laugh brings us all together especially during any busy season.

What’s the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him. What does CPA stand for? Can’t Pass Again.

Accountants are unjustly known as a dry breed. Accounting jokes trivia. An accountant is reading nursery rhymes to her young child. Matthaeus Schwarz was a 16 th Century German accountant who published the first book on fashion. He documented all the outfits he wore over 63 years in watercolour prints. Unsurprisingly, he was reportedly known to be quite vain and his fashion sense earned him nobility in An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot.

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

Accounting and finance job news and info

Our model, which art in nowhere. Guessing be thy name. Thy assumptions come, Thy will be done in future as it was in the past.

Top 40 Accounting Jokes · 1. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? · 2. Two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes. · 3.

We are a nation addicted to our phones. Yet despite our aversion to talking on the phone, mastering the phone interview is a necessity if you want to land a job. We recently took a dive into the prospective job market for accounting in and discovered the top accounting jobs are those in which technology integration plays a feature role — particularly in the form of AI, automation, or machine learning. The one who rises through the ranks of the company with ease.

We know how hard you work and wanted to put together a resource to give you a much-needed and well-deserved break. Where do homeless accounts live? Start out with experience as a financial analyst or auditor. What happens, however, when your passions change — when you want something new? Within organizations today, one of the most delicate balancing acts that boards of directors and compensation committees must perform involves setting executive compensation packages.

Over the past decade, seemingly lavish executive compensation plans have faced significant scrutiny from the public, media outlets, shareholders, regulators, and politicians. What is executive compensation? What does a bookkeeper do?

Pick Up Lines for Accountants

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. You only have six months to live. An engineer, an architect and an actuary are stranded on a desert island with only one can of baked beans and no can opener. The engineer suggests lighting a fire to heat up the can so that the contents will expand and force the can to open.

The architect says the contents would scatter all over the place, so he suggests building a structure around the fire to catch the contents. An accountant, a lawyer, and an actuary are walking down the street when they come upon a man who has just accidently dropped a number of coins out of his pocket onto the sidewalk.

Apr 6, – Get a funny take on today’s popular news, entertainment, lifestyle, and video content — all written by the people who bring you those funny ecards.

We all know it can be a tough gig working in the corporate world and trying to find love. Use them wisely. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. Management Consulting Are you a master of Powerpoint? Would you like me to stand up so you can leverage my low-hanging fruit?

You must be a laptop because you run a hard drive.

Accounting Jokes, Videos, Puns and Humor

Enter your mobile number or email address below and we’ll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer – no Kindle device required. To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? This fun little book adds up to smiles with its original accounting corny jokes, and to balance out the book, we have added a few interesting finance facts plus a humorous simply amusing look at accounting and taxes.

For those who understand higher math, we also have Math Corny Jokes, or for some business humor we have Financial Consulting Corny Jokes.

Accounting Jokes | Finance Services. Did you hear about the cannibal accountant? Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? Ongoing bookkeeping helps you keep up to date with invoicing and also keeps you.

Accountants and Auditors Jokes. Audit Report Auditors Jokes : Time sheets An accountant dies and goes to heaven no, that’s not the joke. Peter, of course, is there, looking through the files and asking a few quick questions. The accountant gives his name and St. Peter finds his file. You’ve reached your allotted time span. How can that be? I’m only 48 years old. Peter, “we’ve been looking over your time sheets and the hours you’ve charged your clients.

By our reckoning, you must be at least93 years old!

6 Solid Pick Up Lines To Use On An Accountant

Tami Brehse. When you take yourself too seriously, the tiniest problems can throw you off course as if they were actual disasters. See one you love?

JOKES: 1. Actuary talking: “a. There are three kinds of actuaries. An actuary is someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn’t have the personality for actuary for the mob knows the date, time, place and means of death. (Submitted.

As strategic alliances go, accountants rank pretty high on the desirability scale. They are industrious. They are detail-oriented to a fault. They are well-connected. And, like lawyers and politicians, all of these defined qualities make them easy to caricature. Accountant jokes have become de rigeuer, especially in April. Here are seven to make your tax season a bit lighter. A man piloting a hot air balloon discovers that he has wandered off course and is hopelessly lost. He descends to a lower altitude and locates a man on the ground.

You only have six months to live. Now, do you still want to tell that joke? An accountant dies and goes to heaven. Peter, of course, is there, looking through the files and asking a few quick questions. The accountant gives his name and St.

25 Jokes That Only Accountants Will Find Funny

Busy season is over, summer is here, what better way to celebrate than a list of our Top 40 Accounting jokes? For every tax problem there is a solution that is straightforward, uncomplicated, and wrong. How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? What is the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.

There’s supposed to be a bright line between business and pleasure. Things get messy when it’s crossed.

Pick Up Lines Jokes Insults. Pick Up Lines for Accountants Brighten your favorite accountants day with our funny accounting pick up lines. They’re stuck looking at numbers all day and trust us, they’ll be looking forward to some human interaction. You liquidate my heart. You must be a one-sided balance sheet, all assets and no liabilities. I just want you to know, you make all my accounts receivable. You don’t need a bridge loan to close the GAAP between us. If you stick with me my feelings for you will never depreciate.

Are you equity? Cos my assets don’t equal liabilities without you. Baby you’re so unique, I have to job cost instead of process cost.

Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Talks About CPA